Are you engineering a better and more explosive relationship with your spouse? Many couples say that they want more from their unions but are simply not willing to work at it. My suggestion… “Use it or lose it.” Know that your relationship will become old and rusty and you (Yes even you) could be replaced leaving you sitting there on the outside looking in with all of your “wulda” “shoulda” and “coulda” blame frustration and doubt.
Change your plan
A wise man once told me that you are a combination of the books you read and the people that you hang around. I would add to this excellent insight that you are also what you look at and listen to. In other words if you are not having the type of impact that you desire with your loved one, change your resources. If you are not reading the Bible… Shame, shame, shame! Get after it! Start reading today. Email me if you want some good scriptures or an outline that we sometimes send out for couples.
Find some other books that are willing help you improve. Look for books that are Christian or Jewish in nature. Stay away from the far-out new age stuff. Some author suggestions, John Maxwell and Rabbi Shalom Arush just to name two of my favorites. Find someone that speaks to you. If you don’t like to read then try audible.com that is a cool alternative.
If your coworkers or relatives are a negative force and seem to be pulling you down GET OUT! You need to find some friends that are focused on the same things that you are. If you cannot find any right now then seek the face of God and ask Him to place some folks in your path.
The bottom line is that if you want to be better, then you need to look for some other folks that want to be better too. This will ultimately improve your relationship with Yahweh and with your Husband/Wife.
Learn how to troubleshoot with your sweetheart
Every conversation does not have to be an expatiation laden position fest. Here are some tips for more powerful communication:
Listen to what they are saying: If you are truly listening then you will be able to empathize and understand their position.
Open body language up: If you fold your arms and are looking down when they are talking or you butt in and cut them off this will send the message that what they have to say is not important.
Listen to the free podcast that is attached to this message. (at the top)
You are invited to our Marriage Seminar coming up in February 12th, 2012 click the link below for more details!
Folks, there was a time in my life a few years back that my life would follow a certain type of pattern. I would be doing well just going along and everything would be awesome. I would be on my way to a promotion or to a romantic date or weekend with my wife, or maybe getting ready to close a tremendous business deal and then as if it was written up in a motion picture script then…(By the way, that’s where they get the stuff for movies from-our lives)…BAM! I would choose to do something STUPID that caused the deal to crash or the date to go sideways or the promotion to be stunted. My mind would be thinking, this success it too good to be true! And that self-fulfilling prophecy would then come to pass. I would allow the seeds of doubt to get into my heart causing SDB (self-destructive behavior).
